One really strange reality for women is the discomfort we can sometimes face when amidst a crowd of men. Call it a victim complex; call it paranoid, but the truth of the matter is that it can be a scary thing. It can be a very interesting phenomenon that sometimes happens when men interact with women. Because of the history and views we carry as a culture, womankind knows that she is not always so safe BUT I’m of the opinion that the tides are changing.
What I see is a rising of of female power and in response a budding sense of respect in our brothers. However, this respect comes from womankind demanding that respect, as it is not usually given freely. When a man walks into a room he generally has no fear that he will be sexually overpowered by anyone so he walks with no fear, knowing he is in his power. The media has a tendency to make every woman feel like she is in danger of being victimized – while I think its important to wisely choose energetic situations, I also feel as though this mindset charges interactions with that powerlessness. Let me be clear: If you do not feel empowered and worthy of respect, you are sending the energetic message that you are indeed without power and not deserving of respect. Conversely; if you feel beautiful, powerful and know that you are worthy of respect, and hold that energy in your interactions with men, they will feel and respond to it.
I want to illustrate with a particular situation I found myself in. The other day I was hanging out with my housemate (who is a guy), and we got an invitation to a dinner party at his friend’s house (who is a guy). I agreed to go and when we arrived, I found I was the lone lady in housefull of men. I immediately regretted coming as I looked around meeting eyes and recognizing that everyone there would be attracted to me. However, I was able to shake off this feeling and allowed myself to relax, knowing that I was among good men who would keep me safe and that I could handle my own energy. There was one particularly rowdy guy here who was drunk and didn’t do anything to hide his interest in me.
I was presented with a choice; allow him to push my boundaries or stand in my power, and choose to be empowered. I chose the latter. This meant not letting him keep his arm around me when he wanted to be in my space, not allowing his slightly off-color jokes to silence me, and giving myself permission to be comfortable in this space. At one point I needed only stare into his eyes as he tried to touch me, transmitting the unacceptability of it in my gaze, and he immediately heeded the warning.
In return for my demeanor and internal peace, I was rewarded with the respectful company of 6 gentlemen. Standing in my power allowed me to meet these men as they were and relax into comfort. Indeed, my presence brought some amount of balance of energy that wasn’t present before, just by virtue of my femininity – Indeed a softness amidst the hardness of male energy. So I advise you sisters, know that you are strong and worthy of respect; the men around you will feel and respond to it. Indeed, they might actually crave it, because without a balance, there is no harmony.
See more of what we have to say about the balance of power between women and men by checking out our book The Word 2.0!
Stay Strong Ladies
Namaste
Sonya Barriere
